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  Diana Ward Collins

Interviewed April 3, 2009
By Judy Larkins, Executive Director of Colorado Mediators & Arbitrators

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Question #1
Q.  You’ve worked in a number of countries, which gives you a cultural perspective different than what a typical American who has only lived in America would have.  Talk a little about cultural conflict.
A.  I’ve worked in  different parts of the United States as well as overseas in Japan in a military setting, that created a greater world awareness, a world view of healthcare itself as well as conflicts that ensue.

Question #2
Q. What has been your most interesting mediation case to date?
A.  One that really stands out was an employer / employee.  The employee had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease.  The Parkinson’s disease affected the individual’s ability to work safely.  So the individual was laid off.  As the individual tried to address his concerns, he had no income during the period of time.  It had to be determined to what degree his disability he had and whether he could work or not work.  So during that period of no income, his house was going into foreclosure, he had to pull his child out of college, which was very humbling to him.  So at one point I asked the manager if it would be possible to check where the decision was for him, which the manager could have and should have done prior to him having to file his EEO complaint.  So we made contact and found that the decision had been made and that his check with back pay was going to be cut within the week.  It would have been so simple for the manager to have worked to help the employee, as compared to having him go through filing the EEO / Equal Employment Opportunity complaint.   After we found out that information and came to closure and agreement, he came over to me and expressed his appreciation, which was very poignant, with tears rolling down his eyes.  He was appreciative of finding out where the money was that was due him.

What we believe with mediation, that whole concept and process, is the right of the individual to step up to the table and speak to what is bothering them.  We encourage, we facilitate that.  We try to create a safe environment.  So where words are used to empower, we try to empower both parties.  And we try to work to limit the imbalance of power. 

Interviewer:  Conflict… It is interesting how it is not just the conflict; it is all the ramifications until settlement.  So when there are these financial burdens, justice delayed is no justice at all, at times.
A.  Yes, within the healthcare system, and within our society, what has occurred is that as people get older, often times they are seen as not having the ability to make decisions or care for themselves.  They are not listened to.  To me, it is about balancing rights, the rights of the elder individual to be self determining, rather than just writing them off because they are older than and not as sharp as they were when they were younger.  There can be financial abuse of elders.  It is a major concern in our society where one sibling may feel that another child is always treated more preferentially.  So it is a way of taking control back if a son or daughter will work, not necessarily consistent with the needs of the elder parent, but contrary to that.  It creates major confusion for the elder parent, who often times will not stop the acting out of a particular adult child because they don’t want to lose the contact with the child that is acting out - the elder parent won’t set limits.  It creates a difficult situation for the different siblings:  those who are trying to work with, help, and understand the parent, and trying to stop some of the efforts that are taken by one of the children to move in to control the finances of the elder parent.

Question # 3
Q.  Talk about the Golden Rule versus the Platinum Rule.
A.  The Golden Rule is something that has been fairly universal within Judeo Christian families.  The Golden Rule is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”  If I operate from that I am superimposing my beliefs and values on another.  The Platinum Rule that has evolved and that is coming into greater awareness is that “We do unto others as we believe or learn what the other would have us do unto them or for them;” instead of superimposing our beliefs and values.  That is oftentimes most poignant when dealing with end-of-life decision making.

Question #4
Q.  You are an employment mediator, and a lot of times it is about how people are being treated with disabilities.
A.  I remember one employee who, at the age of three, became deaf because of encephalitis.  Now she is in her forties, and she has been deaf all of her life, but she went to the school for the deaf and can lip read very well.  She went into the work community and was able to do her job very well.  Having cochlear implants, there is a device that fits outside the head.  In the workplace setting, she was being treated offensively with people making fun of her.  She filed a complaint.  She started not wearing the device because of the teasing that was going on.  Yet when she put on the device, she could hear the words and understand better, as opposed to lip reading only.  Bottom line, they agree to have one-on-one conversations with her and if she felt the need to have somebody sign for her; as well as educate co-workers and to address the fact that they would intervene should there be an issue or complaint by her.  It was empowering her by saying, “It is unacceptable to treat you that way, you with a disability.”  There needs to be reasonable accommodations.

Interviewer:  You have been successful at bringing about creative solutions in the situations where there might be an accommodation that needs to be made.  Part of your job is to generate some options for people to work together in harmony.
A.  To me what is really important when you have parties at the table is to create the arena where there can be a safe discussion, where it is respectful, and to empower the individual so that they can feel safe to exchange information with the other parties to create an arena where there is also listening on the other side as well.  The “Ah Ha!” comes to them so that even though they have not experienced that disability themselves, they are learning from the particular employee that has the disability.  It is not only in the work setting, it is in any type of setting.

For me, mediation provides a sense that there is always a third or a fourth or a fifth way.  It takes sitting down and discussing, stepping into another’s shoes to understand where they are coming from.  We do have the right to disagree, but we must be civil in that process.  So working with people as the neutral mediator, getting them to that point of recognizing that both have the right to speak up and they also have the right to continue on with their own beliefs, respectful in their disagreement. 

Question #5
Q.  What are some of your most effective mediation techniques?
A.  When I’m at the table working with the parties trying to get them to exchange their information. If I feel one of they is so dug in on their own world view that they will not listen to or do not work to understand the other party, sometimes I stop and I’ve said to the individual who is so blocked, “Can you tell me what (Mary Jane) has just said?”  If they have really not listened or tried to understand, they have difficulty doing that.  So we’ll go back over, “Mary Jane, what did you just say?”  And then have the other party repeat it.

Another technique that I tend to use when people are so positional, I just look at them and say, “Well this isn’t working, is it?  Do you want to stop?”  That has been pretty effective.

One of the most poignant questions to ask parties who are so stuck, is to say, “Are you ready to have someone else make the decision for you?  Do you want this to go to court, or do you want to continue to work through this so it can be mutually beneficial, mutually respectful.”